Posted by Jen

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2022/3/30/covering-all-the-bases-flcm5

Because you can never be too safe, that's why.

Famous for their Dance Dance Revolution play-offs...offs.

You tech guys know a PEBKAC when you see one, right?

That's "Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Cake."

By the way, here's a tip from a former tech support phone operator*: if you're ever told you have an I.D. ten T. error, get a second opinion. Unless, of course, you're using your CD-ROM tray as a cup holder or mouse as a foot pedal**. Then it's an accurate assessment.
* That would be me.

**Yes, it's happened.

Moving on...

If only this had said "Patti Love heart <3 you"...

then it still wouldn't have made any sense.

"Let's see...I could write 'Amanda' in the Happy Birthday bubble, OR..."

Poor Adamwithblueflowers. Grade school musta been murder.

Ashley R., Tara C., Simon P., Amanda L., & Dana G., I would like to thank Ashley R., Tara C., Simon P., Amanda L., & Dana G. In italics.

*****

P.S. I have the kind of insomnia old-timey bards would write songs about, so let me again sing the praises of my amazing sleep headphones:

Bluetooth Sleep Headphones

I listen to boring audio books on these every night to keep my brain from spinning out of control, which works wonders. Lately I've been wearing them like a sleep mask - like the model here - and WOW, that's helped even more than when I wore them like a headband! These things have been a life saver: comfy enough for side sleeping, not too loud like some of my old speakers, and they only cost $20 Prime.

Note that they do run on the big side, but that works out great if you have a big head like me. :D
*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2022/3/30/covering-all-the-bases-flcm5

Posted by Jen

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/the-frogs-talk-back-2026

Recently here on CW I took aim at frog cakes, which I might have insinuated are all slimy hell beasts of Wreckage. A few of you took issue with this. So, here to defend their good name are some more frog cakes.

Take it away, guys!

"Well, Jen, as you can see we're extremely well-rounded."

"And we always put our best feet forward."

"In fact, you'd be hard-pressed to find a frog cake that was too dimensional.

(And if you did, I'd be crushed.)"

"Never mind all that, though: The eyes have it, dahlings."

Uh huh. I see.

Well, frankly, guys, I think you're just making my point for me. But wait - what's this? Dribbles has prepared a short statement summarizing why frog cakes are awesome? Ok, then. Preach it, Dribbles.

"Thowwy, I can't wewwy tok wight now. Ma tongue is bwoke."

Aw, what a shame. Well, slimy hell beasts you remain, frog cakes. Sorry.

Thanks to today's hip-hop artists Wesley T., Jen C., Erin R., Tim W., & Andrea L.

*****

P.S. I take it back; I *do* like chocolate frogs. Or rather, the resin DIY chocolate frogs John and I made a few years ago for our Harry Potter party:

This was such a fun craft, click over for my tutorial and links to all the supplies and free box template.

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/the-frogs-talk-back-2026

Posted by Jen

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/sunday-sweets-fun-and-fondant-free-2026

Believe it or not, you CAN have a gorgeous cake without fondant! And I have proof!

(By The White Flower Cake Shoppe)

Glass-smooth icing, perfect piping, and buttery soft flowers that make you want to dive in face-first?

YES PLEASE.

A bunch of today's Sweets will have you doing double-takes:

(By Cup A Dee Cakes)

At first glance, you'd swear this was fondant! Other than the white chocolate centers on the ruffles, though, that's all buttercream.

It doesn't have to be fondant-smooth to be a stellar Sweet, though; some bakers actually use the buttercream texture to their advantage:

(By Queen of Hearts Couture Cakes)

Aha! Edible paints! Brilliant.

Or how about something like this?

(By Fat Cakes Design)

Love that ombre fade! And imagine how boring it would be without the extra icing texture.

I bet you've seen this technique over on Pinterest:

(By Catherine, a friend of CW reader Melissa M.)

SO FUN. And even better, it's actually something we mere mortals can do!
(In a nut shell: Pipe a large dot, smear with a spoon, repeat!)

But supposing you DO want the smooth look of fondant.
It can be done!

(Baker unknown. Anyone recognize it?)

That gumpaste ribbon really helps sell the look.

Oooh, now this next one made me do a triple-take:

(By Shannon Bond Cake Design)

How is that all buttercream?? And how the heck did they pipe that ruffly tier? I'd be dragging my wrist through it by the second line!

And another mind-bogglingly intricate piping job:

(Photo by Jay Tsai Photography, baker unknown.)

Just looking at all that lace is giving my hand sympathy pains. WOW. Can you imagine?

Now, personally, I'm a big fan of excessive frilliness from time to time:

(By Linda Wolff)

Ahhhhh. Love it.

But there's also a lot to be said for bold, modern patterns:

(By Tea Party Cakes)

Not to mention poppies are my favorite flower - so brush-embroidered poppies? Suh-WEET!

This baby shower cake has it all: flowers, dots, perfect pattern piping, and even stripes!

(Also by The White Flower Cake Shoppe)

Plus I love those colors. So springy.

And finally, a stunning combination of buttercream flowers, brush embroidery, and what I think is a cornelli lace variation:

(By Emma Page Cakes)

The background pattern reminds me of the subtle crackle/glazing you see on fine china. SO PRETTY!

Hope you guys enjoyed today's fondant-free fancies! Happy Sunday!

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/sunday-sweets-fun-and-fondant-free-2026

Posted by Jen

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/theyll-never-notice-2026

Unless someone takes a picture and posts it on the internet, of course - and what are the odds of that?

Heheheh.

Heh.

Heh.

Hoo! Yeah. Good stuff.

Hey, maybe if we get a mirror!

Oh. Wait...

Don't worry, "Jett" - those poo-bats are so disturbing, no one will care whose cake this used to be.

How to make Al feel special:

AFTERTHOUGHTS:
Technically they're still thoughts, and that's what counts.

And finally, how to totally freak out your boyfriend:

(No, this wasn't intentional. And yes, that's the store "fix.")

I can tell you that Isaiah was probably never happier to see a Cake Wreck in his entire life, though.

Andrea B., Michelle V., LG, Sharon H., & Ashley, you've gotta admit: that would be a great way to break the news. Much better than, say, putting the used pregnancy test stick on the cake.

******

P.S. My "related searches" kind of got away from me today, but I think you'll approve:

"Hiss" Punny Cats Parody T-Shirt

Lots more colors and shirt styles available at the link.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/theyll-never-notice-2026

Posted by Jen

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/8-insult-cakes-that-backfired-2026

They tried to be mean.

They failed.

This was supposed to say, "You're a traitor!"

"Drunken Loser"

"You Old Buzzard"

This one's almost accurate, if you think about it:

Like, "You get older, THEN dirt."

No?

Aw, thanks!

What's a riddens?

And who's Noboby?

Here's a hint: That's not supposed to say, "shix."

Ooooh, "burn."

I prefer using people when they're alive, though.
Less messy.

Thanks to Anony M., Warren E., Donna Z., Mandi O., Mark S., Jenny C., Anony M., & Robin K., for their dead-ication.

*****

P.S. One last giggle:

"What's Wrong With Society" T-Shirt

Let's just hope this doesn't give wreckerators any new ideas. :D

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/8-insult-cakes-that-backfired-2026

Posted by Jen

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/get-used-to-more-disappointment-2026

What's that? You want more "Missed Marks" wrecks?

AS YOU WISH.

First up, Randee C. ordered this simple zebra-stripe cake from her local bakery:

... and ended up with something only a finger-painting preschooler could love:

Zebras of unusual stripes?
I don't think they exist.

Next, Tahneea made two notable discoveries: first, this gorgeous cake:

There's a shortage of perfect ruffles in the world. 'Twould be a pity to damage yours.

And second, a use for leftover coffee filters!

"I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six hundred coffee filters on hand?"

"Do you always begin conversations this way?"

"YUP." 

And finally, Mel D. ordered this beauty for her wedding:

She tells me her baker showed her an impressive portfolio of gorgeous cakes, which made the final reveal on her big day that much more, well, you know ...

INCONCEIVABLE.

And ... EMBIGGIFY!

On the plus side, that silver glitter really clumps together nicely.

Bye bye, brides! Have fun ordering your cakes!

("Think they'll be wrecks?"

"If not, it'll be a miracle.") 

BYEEE!

*****

P.S. Forget the cakes, this month has left my house wrecked. I'm so ready for a big purge and organizing blitz - and eyeballing nifty little turntables like this:

7-Layer Rotating Makeup Organizer

Ohhh, look at this beauty. Don't you just want to take her for a spin? It's on sale with a $4 off coupon on Amazon right now, so about $17 Prime. Not bad!

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/get-used-to-more-disappointment-2026

Posted by Jen

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/a-little-rough-around-the-edges-2026

If there's one thing I've learned from Cake Wrecks over the past decade, it's that Epcot is a thing not to be trifled with.

If there's another thing I've learned from Cake Wrecks, it's that you can't make a rounded cupcake cake (ptoieee!). As in, ever. The laws of physics preclude even the merest hint of possibility.

Not that this stops our brave wreckerators from trying, of course. They seem convinced that slathering potentially life-threatening amounts of icing onto anything will put a skeptical customer into a pre-purchase sugar haze.

So let's look at how the seemingly simple circle becomes a disaster destined for diabolically dastardly...um...proportions. (No, wait. Dimensions! Dang it. Broke my stride.)

This...[dramatic pause]...is a base "ball."

And this...is Spider-Man:

Or what's left of him, anyway.

This...is...SPARTA!!!

Actually, no. I think this is supposed to be a hamburger.

"Eh wude lak to baa zebargare kek."
Baker: "I'm sorry, what?"
"Zederbergerer kek."
Baker: "Okay, I'm really not sure what you're..."
*sobbing* "DERBERGER!"

Well just remember, Wreckerators, you can always resort to that old standby: Piping, The Fix For Everything.™

Perfect.

Nina M., Amanda Y., Tyler M., & Ruth U., here's hoping the CCC will be circling the drain sometime soon. Think there's a petition we can all sign?

*****

P.S. Right, so cupcake burgers are a no, but SOCK burgers?

Burger Socks Box

SO MUCH YES.

I like how the patterns are subtle enough to be everyday socks.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/a-little-rough-around-the-edges-2026

Posted by Jen

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/to-be-read-by-rod-serling-2026

Deedeedeedeeedeedeedeedee

You unlock this bakery with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension.

A dimension of icing.

A dimension of piping bags.

A dimension of wreckitude.

You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of bad taste and even worse skill. You just crossed over into...

The Twilight Zone.

BUM BUM BAAAAAHHHH...

 Picture, if you will... a monkey. This monkey:

I know, creepy right? [shivering] Brrrrrr. Totally.

[resuming serious announcer voice] Ahem. Now picture, if you will, five ravenous-yet-dim-witted Shih Tzu dogs:

[sternly] Let's call them Muffy, Boopsie, Precious, Buttercup and Mr. Snuggles.

Now picture, if you will, a face of terror that watches in malignant silence far beyond your present capacity to understand. A face enigmatically bizarre in terms of time and space. A face...

...of a tweety bird.

 Now picture, if you will, Meerkat Zombies...raising the roof.

"What up, playah?"

This is the stuff of fantasy, the thread of imagination, the ingredients... of the Twilight Zone.

 BUM BUM BAAAAAHHHHH... 

SQUEEDLEDEEEE!!!

Jennifer P., Matt N., Christine S., and Melanie L., picture, if you will... a dolphin eating a Snickers bar in flip-flops and a cardigan. Then tell me what that looks like. I've always wondered.

UPDATE! LeAnna and Woobie took up the dolphin challenge and sent in their ideas.

First LeAnna's:

AWESOME! Check out the flip flop thongs on his flippers.

And next we have Woobie's

See, the snickers bar is wearing the cardigan and flip flops because I apparently have no grasp of sentence structure. ?thought Who would have

Touché!

One more!

This one's from Vanilla Smoke. Awesome!

*****

P.S. Here's one more read for you Rod Serling fans:

The Twilight Man: Rod Serling and the Birth of Television

It's a graphic novel - so basically a long-form comic book - about Serling's career and "descent into his own personal Twilight Zone." OooOOOooh. Looks awesome, and it has great reviews!

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/to-be-read-by-rod-serling-2026